amatyultare: (don't ask)
Guys, I need a project.

I usually suffer a period of post-PortConMaine lethargy. I think most staffers do. We get all pumped up for the con, run around like crazy all weekend making things go well, and then it's over and we collectively go "...now what?"

I also found an apartment (yay!). It's an efficiency in Portland, near Westbrook, and I really love it. My own kitchen! But I moved into it the week before PCM and am all settled in now (minus theoretical future furniture, like an actual chair), so I am minus another preoccupation that had been looming large in my life.

And then, for those of you who didn't see on Facebook, Jason and I broke up on Sunday night. Which, even aside from being...very distressing...has left me even more at loose ends. You wouldn't think it would make that much difference in my day-to-day schedule, since we hadn't been seeing much of each other lately, but it does.

So all of a sudden, I have tons of after-work free time. The problem is, I tend to work much better with an external goal or structure; I'm not great at self-direction. I try to think of things to do and promptly decide that they are stupid or too much of a bother; instead, I end up sitting around for hours reading back entries of Hyperbole and a Half and carefully not thinking of anything in particular (so as not to start crying).

So anyway, my point was, um...if anyone needs any help with anything, let me know? You will be doing me a favor, I promise.

Also, Eclipse tomorrow. I'm bringing the glitter. :)
amatyultare: (don't ask)
Guys, I need a project.

I usually suffer a period of post-PortConMaine lethargy. I think most staffers do. We get all pumped up for the con, run around like crazy all weekend making things go well, and then it's over and we collectively go "...now what?"

I also found an apartment (yay!). It's an efficiency in Portland, near Westbrook, and I really love it. My own kitchen! But I moved into it the week before PCM and am all settled in now (minus theoretical future furniture, like an actual chair), so I am minus another preoccupation that had been looming large in my life.

And then, for those of you who didn't see on Facebook, Jason and I broke up on Sunday night. Which, even aside from being...very distressing...has left me even more at loose ends. You wouldn't think it would make that much difference in my day-to-day schedule, since we hadn't been seeing much of each other lately, but it does.

So all of a sudden, I have tons of after-work free time. The problem is, I tend to work much better with an external goal or structure; I'm not great at self-direction. I try to think of things to do and promptly decide that they are stupid or too much of a bother; instead, I end up sitting around for hours reading back entries of Hyperbole and a Half and carefully not thinking of anything in particular (so as not to start crying).

So anyway, my point was, um...if anyone needs any help with anything, let me know? You will be doing me a favor, I promise.

Also, Eclipse tomorrow. I'm bringing the glitter. :)
amatyultare: (Default)
I'm done with school for the semester, but I don't wanna paaack....*whines*

Nor do I want to admit that this semester is over.

Bah.

Alright, I should go try to do something productive. Later, all!
amatyultare: (Default)
Okay, my mom says that I'm getting a little obsessive with this essay, but....on Kris's advice, I reworked the intro, and one more time, I'm looking for feedback from all of you wonderful people. It's only a paragraph this time instead of seven pages....anyway, see what you think.

I really hate writing introductions, but.... )

In any case, I'm just happy because it is edited and, barring any comments from you guys, DONE! And will be mailed in on Monday after I get my manager to sign her recommendation for me (my second recommendation will be sent in later, when my case manager actually writes it, because my 'reapplication' is later than I wanted already.

My life continues to be boring otherwise. Ah, central Maine... (except my mom's birthday was Wednesday. Happy birthday, Mom, even though you don't read my LJ!) I'm off to do....something. Later, all!
amatyultare: (Default)
I will post the highlights of my sister's visit home at some point, but I just felt like sharing something I found a while ago and which applies all too much to me.

http://www.nexus.edu.au/teachstud/gat/peters.htm

"Procrastination is a complex problem affecting many perfectionists. The fear of being imperfect and the dread of not living up to one's own and others expectations can cause overwhelming feelings leading to profound procrastination. Putting it off until the absolute last second is a painful avoidance tactic employed by perfectionists.

Related to the procrastination of the perfectionist is the fear-of- failure syndrome. Apathy can result from perfectionism when a person knows he or she will never measure up one hundred percent. It may be better to delay taking action or take no action at all than to risk failure. Further related to the fear-of-failure syndrome is paralysed perfectionism. According to Adderholt-Elliot (1989 p. 20) paralysed perfectionists are so afraid of being wrong that instead of taking chances, they resort to complete inertia. They may also have problems with decision making, searching for the one perfect solution to a situation rather than choosing from a variety "less perfect" possibilities."

I always called it being a 'frustrated perfectionist' instead of a 'paralyzed perfectionist' but it's the same thing.

*sigh*

Anyway, just wanted to share :-) Now I'm heading to bed. Later, all!
amatyultare: (Default)
That romance quiz )

For the past couple of days, I've gone to sleep ridiculously early and gotten up before 6 AM. So very strange...

'The Summer Tree' came yesterday, so I can start rereading the Fionavar Tapestry! I'd forgotten how good it is...I should try to find more books by Guy Gavriel Kay.

My life is ridiculously boring...I've been mostly reading, filling out job applications, and thinking about I-Con. Can't wait to see you guys!

The college and Ray drama continue...what, you thought drama only happened at Colgate? )

Alright, that's enough complaining for now. And yes, feel free to bypass my whining if you wish.

More Fionavar Tapestry now. Later, all!

P.S. Bonnie, I've stolen your icon, as you can see. It's just so pretty!

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