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amatyultare) wrote2008-09-22 10:54 am
amatyultare) wrote2008-09-22 10:54 am
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Inheritance Trilogy: In which I discuss 'Brisingr' quite a bit
So here’s the thing. I was, and am, working on my review/chapter summary of Eldest. But then I realized that the sequel, Brisingr, was released this weekend. And being able to form my impressions before any reviews or spoilers was very tempting. So I put Eldest on hold, got a copy of Brisinger, and started reading, typing up chapter notes after each chapter I read.
Three days later, here I am. If you’re interested in my thoughts on the book for some reason but you haven’t read the first two in the series, you may want to read the Wikipedia summaries for them first.
Let’s start with some general notes on the book.
Overall, Brisinger was better-written than Eldest (it’s been too long since I’ve read Eragon to compare the two). The dialogue isn’t AS grating (although there are moments). The misuse of adjectives almost disappeared. We saw less use of unnecessarily fancy adjectives. The purple prose remained, but there were some chapters where you hardly saw it.
Characterization was good but uneven. Primarily I have a problem with Eragon; CPao can show us him thinking about how he needs a new sword every five pages for ten chapters, but he can’t or won’t show Eragon thinking about the people he’s killed unless it’s somehow brought to Eragon’s attention.
The plot, besides the extensive Dwarf Coronation Scramble, really does follow Return of the Jedi, though perhaps more loosely than the first two books followed Star Wars. Our hero goes to rescue a secondary character and kill the kidnappers. The hero is separated from his friends. (Much traveling ensues, plus Dwarf Coronation!) Our hero returns to his mentor from the previous installment, ready to learn more about his mystical powers.
While there, his Old Mentor reveals a secret about the hero’s past. Now, bear with me. In Star Wars, the hero learns in the second installment ‘who his father truly is, and he is evil’. Then in the third installment, he learns ‘you have a sibling you never knew about’. In contrast, in the Inheritance Cycle, our hero learns in the second installment that ‘you have a sibling you never knew about, and he is evil’; in the third installment, he learns ‘who his father truly is’.
Am I the only one who likes the dwarves? Probably…even I though the dwarf scenes dragged way too long, but dammit, I like the dwarves anyway.
These random short Roran scenes need to end. Immediately.
That’s everything I can think of at the moment. LJ won’t let me post this all at once (too long), so the first section of my summary/commentary by chapter is below. Links to later chapters follow.
Chapter One: The Gates of Death
We actually start with plot, more or less! I am impressed, CPao. Eragon and Roran are hiding between the city of Dras-Leona and the evilMount Doom mountain the Helgrind, where the Ra’zac and their steeds/parents the Lethrblaka live. They are looking for Katrina, of course, but first they witness a truly disturbing ceremony of the bizarre Ra’zac worshipping cult of Dras-Leona.
It’s – pretty bloody. If we didn’t already know that CPao was an atheist, this would be proof enough that he essentially holds religion in contempt. There’s a part of the ceremony that’s a dark parody of the Eucharist, which may rile up the hardcore Christians. And then one acolyte, in a frenzy of devotion, cuts off his own hand.
CPao is in rare form with the unnecessary description. Here’s one paragraph describing the procession:
1. Holy run-on sentence, Batman.
2. Rutabagas???
3. If the sound of the bells is a ‘cacophony’ and a ‘mournful clamor’, the bells cannot simultaneously ‘throb’.
4. Why does this paragraph even exist?
So after a lot of nasty “depraved oration” by the head priest, the procession heads back to Dras-Leona, leaving behind two slaves for the Ra’zac to eat. That’s lovely. Eragon tells Roran, paraphrased, I have lived with the elves and traveled with the dwarves and I have NEVER seen anything so fucked up as these humans just did.
We get a page or so reminding us again of exactly how Katrina was caught, etc. Eragon waxes sentimental about how Roran is his only living relative (Murtagh doesn’t count) and since Katrina is Roran’s fiance, she’s also like family, and Eragon is SO UNSELFISH when it comes to family. Moving on....
Eragon stretches out his awareness towards the Helgrind, trying to determine if Katrina is there and if the Ra’zac are around at present. Cue much unnecessary description about the various animal minds his touches. The verdict: Katrina is there, and seems to be alright. The Ra’zac are not currently around. Roran actually kind of wants them to show up so he can kill them, but in any case they decide to start the active phase of their rescue tomorrow morning.
Chapter Two: Around the Campfire
This chapter is very long for CPao, a whole 27 pages. A lot of it is backstory and random chatter, so I’ll hit the high points.
•Roran becomes Eragon’s Jiminy Cricket. There’s an alternately moving and horrifying part of the conversation where Roran is talking emotionally about the people he’s killed, and how they haunt his dreams. Sometimes he feels like he’s going mad or he hates himself for all the death he’s caused, including those who were probably not bad men but who were just doing their duty toward the Empire. It’s heart wrenching, if somewhat overly dramatic, and a fair depiction of someone who expected a normal life and has encountered horrors.
And Eragon goes, oh yeah, I feel that way sometimes too. It’s tough. Not only is he startlingly blithe about it even as he agrees, HIS AGREEMENT IS TOTAL BS. Never once in the two previous books have we EVER seen Eragon mourn or even think about those he’s killed, let alone be consumed with guilt. Roran, in this sense, is bringing more ‘moral sense’ to Eragon just by raising the topic; hence, Jiminy Cricket.
On the other hand, when Eragon needs to draw life force from animals around him to heal Roran’s bite wound, he is so affected by the deaths (two birds, one snake) that he cries and almost throws up. Man, the more I read this series, the less I like Eragon.
•Roran and Saphira tease Eragon about Arya. Saphira tells Roran that “if he fancied her any more, I’d be trying to kiss Arya myself.” Hee. Eragon gets all angsty and tells Roran that she doesn’t like him, but he can’t imagine being with anyone else. Plus, he’s immortal, so marrying a regular human girl is not a good idea. Roran is just finding out about this whole Dragon-Riders-Are-Immortal thing, and immediately articulates the consequences and shortcomings of that state more clearly than Eragon has ever expressed them.
•Saphira has hints of a real personality. Granted, it totally contradicts her hints of personality from the previous books, where she was depicted as having solemn maturity and wisdom beyond her years – now she’s much more cavalier about things (including death), and very wry – but she’s actually becoming a character, so I won’t complain. Her lines, and some of her conversation with Roran, actually made me laugh. If only we could get rid of Eragon...
•Eragon angsts for a couple of pages about Murtagh. He is basically conflicted because Murtagh, while being compelled by Galbatorix, seems to enjoy his new power a bit too much to be strictly ‘good’. But Eragon likes him....but on the other hand, they are destined to be deadly enemies since they’re on opposite sides...lather, rinse, and repeat.
•Roran wants to learn magic. So far, he doesn’t show an aptitude.
•We get a bit of backstory on how Eragon got permission to go on this rescue mission. Essentially, Arya and Nasuada opposed it, but Saphira talked them into it. She argued that Katrina was leverage against Roran, and therefore against Eragon, meaning her imprisonment was a hole in the Varden’s defenses. Plus, Galbatorix’s army was in disarray, so it was the best time to try.
•Eragon is afraid that Murtagh is in the Helgrind with Katrina, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s right. Saphira reassures him.
•Eragon is using only a staff since Murtagh stole the sword Zar’roc. He realizes belatedly that this might be a problem if he has to fight the Ra’zac. Saphira says, I told you so.
•There is so much awkward language, so many unnecessary adjectives and adverbs and descriptive sections, and such a quantity of faux-formal speech, that I don’t have the energy to cite it all. Trust me, it permeates the chapter. Here’s one example, the mood-setting first paragraph:
Also, I am increasingly having issues with CPao’s comma usage. Often he uses them when they are not appropriate or leaves them out when they should be used.
Chapter Three: Assault on Helgrind
It’s time to rumble! Eragon and Roran get ready in the hour before sunrise, jump onto Saphira’s back, and they’re off. Ominously, the slaves are gone and presumably eaten, but Eragon still cannot sense the Ra’zac or Lethrblaka anywhere nearby. Could Eragon possibly be making a mistake or might there be something he doesn’t know about them? Of course not!
Hey, why don’t we dissipate the urgency of the chapter and the mission by spending an entire paragraph on the sunrise? Sounds good!
They struggle a bit trying to find an entrance to into the caves they know must be there, but Saphira serendipitously discovers the illusion that is hiding the entrance. Eragon is dismayed, having apparently never considered that Galbatorix might lend his most valuable allies magical assistance since they lack magic themselves. Have I mentioned recently that Eragon is really quite dumb?
The cave is ominous. Ominous, ominous, ominous. UNEXPECTED LETHRBLAKA ATTACK IS UNEXPECTED! Eragon can’t sense their presence, or those of the Ra’zac. Who is surprised? He is thrown to the ground as Saphira starts to fight them, but manages to stand back up; he is temporarily deafened by the blow to his head. (Is this medically sound?)
Eragon had cast spells of protection against Roran before they started out, so he counts on Roran to hold off the Ra’zac while Eragon tries to find a spell that will kill the Lethrblaka. He fails, although he does come up with a rather neat disabling spell (he blocks all light entering the eyes of one of them, effectively blinding it). Then Roran is injured and Eragon must defend himself with his staff.
He quickly realizes that he made a mistake by not getting a new sword. Still, he manages to hold them off with his staff. Correct me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that fighting with a sword and fighting with a staff are profoundly different, and competence with one would not necessarily translate to proficiency with the other. Eragon has never trained with a staff, yet he is somehow fighting like an expert. Sigh.
Saphira kills one of the Lethrblaka. Boo-yah! The fight with the remaining one moves out of the cave, Saphira pursuing it as it tries to escape. Eragon knocks one of the Ra’zac down and the two creatures flee deeper into the caves. Eragon and Roran follow. Saphira returns triumphant from the battle with the second Lethrblaka.
More ominous, ominous, ominous caves. Also, very dark. Suddenly an arrow “augers” past Eragon’s face, scratching him.
To auger: to drill or bore using a rotating helical shaft. (Thanks, dictionary.com!) Shooting something or someone is NOT the same as boring into it with a drill.
Anyway, the Ra’zac are back. Eragon creates light which stuns them. Roran kills one of them; Eragon accidentally lets the other escape. Ah well. Let’s free Katrina! There are several cells; Roran starts battering down the door to Katrina’s cell while Eragon searches the other. That other human presence he sensed? It wasn’t Murtagh. It was the traitorous Sloan. DUN DUN DUN!
Chapter Four: Divergence
I think this chapter sets a new high in Eragon stupidity.
Eragon spends about two and a half pages dithering about what to do with Sloan. He’s in bad shape, malnourished and the Ra’zac have blinded him. Eragon knows that if he brings Sloan back to the villagers, he’ll be tried and killed. Frankly, he sort of deserves it, as he tried to get Roran killed, betrayed his village in a fashion that lead directly to his own daughter being kidnapped, and murdered a village guard to let the Ra’zac in. On the other hand, it won’t be good for Katrina to have her father publicly executed.
However, Eragon is reluctant to kill Sloan. One, he’s known Sloan all his life. Two, he’s never killed anyone outside of ‘the heat of battle’ before. I will grant you, one can make a moral distinction between killing someone who is actively trying to kill you and someone who is not. But I want to point out that Eragon spent a good part of the Battle of the Burning Plains killing mages, and then killing the soldiers that mage had protected. He was literally slaughtering whole swathes of Imperial forces at a time. So this sounds less like scruples to me, and more like squeamishness.
Eragon puts Sloan into a deep sleep and tells Roran and Katrina that Sloan is dead. He gets them onto Saphira, heals Saphira’s wounds (draining himself completely in the process), and then tell them he’s not going with them. His excuse is that he’ll look around, find out if there’s anything useful in terms of information or artifacts, and kill the other Ra’zac. Then he’ll run home.
Saphira is not happy. She actually tries to grab Eragon and drag him away by force. Then she tries guilt tripping him by making puppy dog eyes at him and mewling. Eragon stands firm, and she reluctantly leaves. She tells him she’ll come back for him in a week.
Obligatory end-of-chapter-angst!
Without any magical power currently left, no weapon besides a staff, and no backup. Spectacular decision, Eragon.
Chapter Five: Rider and Ra’zac
Eragon calls the Ra’zac to him to fight it out. The Ra’zac wants Eragon to promise that he’ll tell stories of the Ra’zac even after they’re dead, so that people remember how frightening they were. In return, he’ll tell Eragon something important: Galbatorix has almost found the true name. He can’t say more than that, just the true name, so Eragon refuses to promise anything.
They fight, Eragon wins in about 2.2 seconds. He grabs the still-sleeping Sloan and heads out. From the mouth of the cave, he sees people approaching, presumably minions of Galbatorix who saw Saphira’s ariel battle with the Lethrblaka. This would not be a huge problem except that the cave is quite far from the ground, the mountain face is mostly too steep to climb, and Eragon no longer has a dragon to fly him down. Whoops.
He ends up magically ‘floating’ the two of them down, draining himself dangerously in the process. By the time he’s on the ground, he is almost dying. However, his will to live is rekindled by a bumblebee. No, I’m serious.
I’ll ignore the dangling participle and simply note that Eragon has low standards for inspiration. Oh well, at least it wasn’t an ant.
Eragon sucks the life force out of several plants to save himself and belatedly realizes that maybe this whole plan wasn’t such a good idea. Still, he’s okay now, so he runs off rejoicing that the Ra’zac are finally dead. Our readers may forget, but Eragon swore back in the first book to avenge his uncle’s death by killing the Ra’zac. He makes a big deal about how he’s relieved yet strangely sad because this revenge had been such a big part of his life. Not only is this stereotypical, it’s extremely unconvincing. The Ra’zac come up exactly once in Eldest, when Oromis is talking about the history of different races in Alagaësia. Eragon hasn’t been thinking about the Ra’zac AT ALL.
If you’ll forgive the macrospeak – Characterization: Ur doing it wrong.
Chapter Six: To Walk the Land Alone
Night in the scrubby plains south of Helgrind. Eragon is uber-hungry, and there are few edible plants around. Will he give in and...eat meat? *Jeopardy music plays for half an hour* Yes, he will. It’s hard for him, but then when he finishes, he thinks, ‘maybe I’ll keep eating meat, just once in a while’.
(N.B. This boy who just spent half an hour agonizing over eating a lizard, earlier today summoned a sapient creature to him in order to kill it, and also refused that sapient creature’s last request. Just to put things in perspective.)
He wakes Sloan up and lets him know he’s free and Katrina is safe. It takes Sloan a while to figure out who Eragon is, and his tone of disbelief spurs Eragon to act even more arrogant and pompous than usual. If that is possible.
Sloan gets sulky and silent. Eragon considers what to do, and considers Sloan’s history and personality. He quickly puts together and comprehends Sloan’s soul, so to speak, to the point that he thinks of three words in the ancient tongue that describe Sloan, whispers them to himself, and Sloan responds. Oh yes, Eragon has discovered Sloan’s true name. A skill that only the most exceptional human Dragon Riders possess. *headdesk* Why am I even surprised?
Eragon comes up with a plan and scry-talks Queen Islanzadí to get her consent. He is able to scry her in a place he’s never seen before using aplot device spell the elves have that has never been mentioned before. How convenient. Islanzadí agrees, reluctantly as the elves have their own fights on their hands.
She also calls Eragon out on his shit in a way that makes my heart sing. He is their one hope against Galbatorix and Murtagh, and he is risking himself on a side quest, and then risking himself to an even greater degree to save a murderer. Eragon feels that she’s treating him like a child. Which is appropriate, because he’s acting like one. Also, she compares him to Brom again. Hit us over the head with us a little more, why don’t you, CPao.
Now we get the grand reveal of Eragon’s plan. Sloan’s punishment is that he’ll never see or hear from Katrina again. He will walk north (remember, he’s blind) until he reaches Du Weldenvarden, where he will be given a home and food and so forth. Eragon will charm him so that he won’t be attacked and he’ll be able to find food during the journey, and will compel him using his true name to make oaths in the ancient language that he’ll never seek out Katrina again.
Sloan is not happy about this – and after being confronted with his true name, he’s pretty wretched and begging to be killed – but Eragon follows through with the plan and sends him off into the wilderness. Then he heads off towards Surda.
Chapter Seven: The Trial of the Long Knives
Perspective switch. Nasuada, you’re up!
Nasuada is having difficulties with a subordinate. Specifically, the leader of the tribe to which her father belonged. He is demanding that as ‘family’, members of the tribe be placed in high positions without earning them. (He’s also sort of a stereotype of of an African tribal leader, covered in gold jewelry and embroidered robes. Classy!)
Anyway, Nasuada refuses, although she tries to do it politely. He persists, insulting her. It becomes clear that he’s just trying to create an argument, so Nasuada becomes more firm. He challenges her to the Trial of the Long Knives; she accepts and calls in a bunch of witnesses.
Five of the fifteen pages of this chapter are devoted to this challenge. Brace yourselves; CPao has outdone himself on this one.
The two contestants go back and forth, cutting deep gashes into their own arms. The one who gives up first loses; the winner becomes leader of both tribes, or in this case both the tribe and the Varden.
Let me repeat that. They cut deep gashes – at one point Nasuada suspects she will faint of blood loss, and they have to avoid their wrists so as not to sever tendons – until one of them cannot bear to inflict more pain on oneself and yields. For FIVE PAGES.
I dare any non-slasher-flick-fan to read this chapter without gagging and getting nauseous. YOUNG ADULT, CPAO. YOU’RE SUPPOSEDLY WRITING A YA NOVEL HERE.
At the end of the chapter, Nasuada gets mildly scolded by Surda’s King Orrin. Drunk on pain-endorphins and fatigue, she answers impolitely and he storms off. You’d think that he’d be a little understanding since she has STREAMS OF BLOOD RUNNING DOWN HER ARMS FROM SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS, but apparently not. She resolves to hunt him down and apologize tomorrow.
Chapter Eight: Winged Tidings
Nasuada briefly blacks out from blood loss. Gee, what a surprise. She sends the others away and has a brief chat with Elva, the Creepy Unnaturally Wise Cursed Girl Clearly Modeled After Alia Atreides from Dune. Angela the witch comes in to tend to the wounds – naturally, the rules of the challenge ban the contestants from being healed by magic. As Angela is sewing the slashes (without anesthetic, geez) they hear it being shouted that Saphira is approaching and run out to meet her.
I want to note one thing. Even Nasuada, a presumably straight female, takes a moment to note just how HAWT Arya is. CPao, this raging-hormones thing has got to stop.
I haven’t cited any specific purple-prose passages for a couple of chapters (I think I’m going to start calling these CPao Specials). Let’s fix that:
This is the second time in the book that Saphira has been described as glittering and reflecting many flashes of light. It is official: Saphira is a giant flying disco ball.
Elva, with her mysterious powers of Sensing Things, realizes that Eragon is not with Saphira; Nasuada sends almost everyone away. Saphira lands and Roran introduces Katrina. Saphira explains the ostensible reasons why Eragon stayed at the Helgrind; she leaves out Sloan. The group pauses for a moment to appreciate Eragon’s full stupidity. Arya decides she’s going to go after him and leaves. Apparently elves consider things like ‘provisions’ beneath them. Nasuada is freaking out, because – let’s say it again, folks – if Eragon dies, the Varden and rebel alliance are doomed.
Chapter Nine: Escape and Evasion
Nasuada is probably sleeping the sleep of the just and blood-loss-weakened by now, so let’s catch up with the idiot. Hi, Eragon!
Eragon is running, and enjoying his little mini-vacation of alone time. This is sort of nice until you remember that everyone else is panicking about whether or not he’s okay, etc. CPao also spends an entire paragraph describing the way it feels for Eragon to run, the way the little shocks of impact run up the legs and spine to your head, etc. CPao: all of your readers have run, at least once. Trust me on this.
There’s a brief scare where Eragon is almost seen by Imperial soldiers and hears some cryptic references to Murtagh, and that night he has a disturbing flashback-nightmare. Then he has a Random Encounter! with a semi-crazy old man. He helps the man weed his peas, and then has lunch with him (look, I don’t know). The man implies – this is my own theory, not something stated – that he is looking for the principle that will allow one to use the energy from light or heat for magical purposes (something Oromis said was currently impossible). Eragon, as is par for the course with him, totally misses the subtext and thinks the old guy is just crazy and talking in riddles. He sneaks away.
Eragon spends a night at an inn instead of camping out, where he quickly encounters Arya. After defusing a fight with a drunken farmer (pretty impressive for Eragon), Arya tells him that she has been looking for him and they need to go to her room to talk. I’m fairly certain that nothing will happen, but it still has those let’s take this back to my room, shall we? connotations.
They debate over whether or not Eragon should have killed Sloan. AGAIN. Sloan had better play a really major role in the story later on, is all I can say. Also, Arya found Eragon by following the signs in nature; apparently everything in the world is attuned to Dragon Riders and one can trace them that way.
Early next morning, they head out. Once they are safely away, Arya scries Nasuada and lets her know they’re safe. Eragon asks to speak to Saphira – they’re still too far away to speak mind-to-mind – which leads to a mildly amusing incident in which Saphira destroys all of Nasuada’s furniture as she squeezes into the tent. And then they’re off again.
BTW, Eragon is still obsessed with Arya. What a shock!
Chapter Ten: A Delicate Matter
Perspective shift. Wait, why Roran? We never really cared about him that much except inasmuch as he is a foil for (and more likeable than) Eragon. Explain yourself, CPao.
Roran is ‘training’ with some other Varden fighters. He’s working on his strength. Which involves lifting large boulders over his head. Ma-cho ma-cho man, I wanna be a macho....
Roran finishes training and takes a makeshift ‘shower’. Today is some kind of special day (he can’t actually be marrying Katrina today, can he? Wouldn’t he wait for Eragon, at least?) so he’s all pumped.
And then Birgit is there. With a dagger. ‘Remember when I told you I’d support you, but that you’d have to pay in the end for causing my husband to be killed and devoured? Don’t forget’. And she wanders off. Birgit is totally going to kill Katrina, isn’t she?
Katrina is pregnant. AWEsome.
Oh, okay. Roran was getting ‘dressed up’ because Nasuada has called him in for a meeting. She wants to use him as one of her generals, essentially, but she is not sure if she can completely trust him or his courage yet when NOT surrounded by people from his home village and obsessed with saving his love. Roran understand, but demurs when she asks him to leave on a test mission immediately. He wants to wait until Eragon is back and can perform his and Kristina’s wedding ceremony. And he wants to marry Katrina ASAP. Because she’s pregnant. Nasuada’s response is, “....FINE, so long as you follow my orders once you’re married.”
The rest of the chapter summaries are here:
Chapters 11-20
Chapters 21-30
Chapters 31-40
Chapters 41-50
Chapters 51-58
Three days later, here I am. If you’re interested in my thoughts on the book for some reason but you haven’t read the first two in the series, you may want to read the Wikipedia summaries for them first.
Let’s start with some general notes on the book.
Overall, Brisinger was better-written than Eldest (it’s been too long since I’ve read Eragon to compare the two). The dialogue isn’t AS grating (although there are moments). The misuse of adjectives almost disappeared. We saw less use of unnecessarily fancy adjectives. The purple prose remained, but there were some chapters where you hardly saw it.
Characterization was good but uneven. Primarily I have a problem with Eragon; CPao can show us him thinking about how he needs a new sword every five pages for ten chapters, but he can’t or won’t show Eragon thinking about the people he’s killed unless it’s somehow brought to Eragon’s attention.
The plot, besides the extensive Dwarf Coronation Scramble, really does follow Return of the Jedi, though perhaps more loosely than the first two books followed Star Wars. Our hero goes to rescue a secondary character and kill the kidnappers. The hero is separated from his friends. (Much traveling ensues, plus Dwarf Coronation!) Our hero returns to his mentor from the previous installment, ready to learn more about his mystical powers.
While there, his Old Mentor reveals a secret about the hero’s past. Now, bear with me. In Star Wars, the hero learns in the second installment ‘who his father truly is, and he is evil’. Then in the third installment, he learns ‘you have a sibling you never knew about’. In contrast, in the Inheritance Cycle, our hero learns in the second installment that ‘you have a sibling you never knew about, and he is evil’; in the third installment, he learns ‘who his father truly is’.
Am I the only one who likes the dwarves? Probably…even I though the dwarf scenes dragged way too long, but dammit, I like the dwarves anyway.
These random short Roran scenes need to end. Immediately.
That’s everything I can think of at the moment. LJ won’t let me post this all at once (too long), so the first section of my summary/commentary by chapter is below. Links to later chapters follow.
Chapter One: The Gates of Death
We actually start with plot, more or less! I am impressed, CPao. Eragon and Roran are hiding between the city of Dras-Leona and the evil
It’s – pretty bloody. If we didn’t already know that CPao was an atheist, this would be proof enough that he essentially holds religion in contempt. There’s a part of the ceremony that’s a dark parody of the Eucharist, which may rile up the hardcore Christians. And then one acolyte, in a frenzy of devotion, cuts off his own hand.
CPao is in rare form with the unnecessary description. Here’s one paragraph describing the procession:
Behind the priests trudged a double line of young men swathed in gold cloth. Each carried a rectangular metal frame subdivided by twelve horizontal crossbars from which hung iron bells the size of winter rutabagas. Half of the young men gave their frames a vigorous shake when they stepped forward with their right foot, producing a dolorous cacophony of notes, while the other half shook their frames when they advanced upon the left foot, causing iron tongues to crash against iron throats and emit a mournful clamor that echoed over the hills. The acolytes accompanied the throbbing of the bells with their own cries, groaning and shouting in an ecstasy of passion.
1. Holy run-on sentence, Batman.
2. Rutabagas???
3. If the sound of the bells is a ‘cacophony’ and a ‘mournful clamor’, the bells cannot simultaneously ‘throb’.
4. Why does this paragraph even exist?
So after a lot of nasty “depraved oration” by the head priest, the procession heads back to Dras-Leona, leaving behind two slaves for the Ra’zac to eat. That’s lovely. Eragon tells Roran, paraphrased, I have lived with the elves and traveled with the dwarves and I have NEVER seen anything so fucked up as these humans just did.
We get a page or so reminding us again of exactly how Katrina was caught, etc. Eragon waxes sentimental about how Roran is his only living relative (Murtagh doesn’t count) and since Katrina is Roran’s fiance, she’s also like family, and Eragon is SO UNSELFISH when it comes to family. Moving on....
Eragon stretches out his awareness towards the Helgrind, trying to determine if Katrina is there and if the Ra’zac are around at present. Cue much unnecessary description about the various animal minds his touches. The verdict: Katrina is there, and seems to be alright. The Ra’zac are not currently around. Roran actually kind of wants them to show up so he can kill them, but in any case they decide to start the active phase of their rescue tomorrow morning.
Chapter Two: Around the Campfire
This chapter is very long for CPao, a whole 27 pages. A lot of it is backstory and random chatter, so I’ll hit the high points.
•Roran becomes Eragon’s Jiminy Cricket. There’s an alternately moving and horrifying part of the conversation where Roran is talking emotionally about the people he’s killed, and how they haunt his dreams. Sometimes he feels like he’s going mad or he hates himself for all the death he’s caused, including those who were probably not bad men but who were just doing their duty toward the Empire. It’s heart wrenching, if somewhat overly dramatic, and a fair depiction of someone who expected a normal life and has encountered horrors.
And Eragon goes, oh yeah, I feel that way sometimes too. It’s tough. Not only is he startlingly blithe about it even as he agrees, HIS AGREEMENT IS TOTAL BS. Never once in the two previous books have we EVER seen Eragon mourn or even think about those he’s killed, let alone be consumed with guilt. Roran, in this sense, is bringing more ‘moral sense’ to Eragon just by raising the topic; hence, Jiminy Cricket.
On the other hand, when Eragon needs to draw life force from animals around him to heal Roran’s bite wound, he is so affected by the deaths (two birds, one snake) that he cries and almost throws up. Man, the more I read this series, the less I like Eragon.
•Roran and Saphira tease Eragon about Arya. Saphira tells Roran that “if he fancied her any more, I’d be trying to kiss Arya myself.” Hee. Eragon gets all angsty and tells Roran that she doesn’t like him, but he can’t imagine being with anyone else. Plus, he’s immortal, so marrying a regular human girl is not a good idea. Roran is just finding out about this whole Dragon-Riders-Are-Immortal thing, and immediately articulates the consequences and shortcomings of that state more clearly than Eragon has ever expressed them.
•Saphira has hints of a real personality. Granted, it totally contradicts her hints of personality from the previous books, where she was depicted as having solemn maturity and wisdom beyond her years – now she’s much more cavalier about things (including death), and very wry – but she’s actually becoming a character, so I won’t complain. Her lines, and some of her conversation with Roran, actually made me laugh. If only we could get rid of Eragon...
•Eragon angsts for a couple of pages about Murtagh. He is basically conflicted because Murtagh, while being compelled by Galbatorix, seems to enjoy his new power a bit too much to be strictly ‘good’. But Eragon likes him....but on the other hand, they are destined to be deadly enemies since they’re on opposite sides...lather, rinse, and repeat.
•Roran wants to learn magic. So far, he doesn’t show an aptitude.
•We get a bit of backstory on how Eragon got permission to go on this rescue mission. Essentially, Arya and Nasuada opposed it, but Saphira talked them into it. She argued that Katrina was leverage against Roran, and therefore against Eragon, meaning her imprisonment was a hole in the Varden’s defenses. Plus, Galbatorix’s army was in disarray, so it was the best time to try.
•Eragon is afraid that Murtagh is in the Helgrind with Katrina, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s right. Saphira reassures him.
•Eragon is using only a staff since Murtagh stole the sword Zar’roc. He realizes belatedly that this might be a problem if he has to fight the Ra’zac. Saphira says, I told you so.
•There is so much awkward language, so many unnecessary adjectives and adverbs and descriptive sections, and such a quantity of faux-formal speech, that I don’t have the energy to cite it all. Trust me, it permeates the chapter. Here’s one example, the mood-setting first paragraph:
The low mound of coals throbbed like the heart of some giant beast. Occasionally, a patch of gold sparks flared into existence and raced across the surface of the wood before vanishing into a white-hot crevice.
Also, I am increasingly having issues with CPao’s comma usage. Often he uses them when they are not appropriate or leaves them out when they should be used.
Chapter Three: Assault on Helgrind
It’s time to rumble! Eragon and Roran get ready in the hour before sunrise, jump onto Saphira’s back, and they’re off. Ominously, the slaves are gone and presumably eaten, but Eragon still cannot sense the Ra’zac or Lethrblaka anywhere nearby. Could Eragon possibly be making a mistake or might there be something he doesn’t know about them? Of course not!
Hey, why don’t we dissipate the urgency of the chapter and the mission by spending an entire paragraph on the sunrise? Sounds good!
A fan of golden light flared into existence as the top of the sun crested the horizon. In an instant, the full spectrum of colors enlivened the previously drab world: the mist glowed white, the water became a rich blue, the daubed-mud wall that encircled the enter of Dras-Leona revealed its dingy yellow sides, the trees cloaked themselves in every shade of green, and the soil blushed red and orange. Helgrind, however, remained as it always was–black.
They struggle a bit trying to find an entrance to into the caves they know must be there, but Saphira serendipitously discovers the illusion that is hiding the entrance. Eragon is dismayed, having apparently never considered that Galbatorix might lend his most valuable allies magical assistance since they lack magic themselves. Have I mentioned recently that Eragon is really quite dumb?
The cave is ominous. Ominous, ominous, ominous. UNEXPECTED LETHRBLAKA ATTACK IS UNEXPECTED! Eragon can’t sense their presence, or those of the Ra’zac. Who is surprised? He is thrown to the ground as Saphira starts to fight them, but manages to stand back up; he is temporarily deafened by the blow to his head. (Is this medically sound?)
Eragon had cast spells of protection against Roran before they started out, so he counts on Roran to hold off the Ra’zac while Eragon tries to find a spell that will kill the Lethrblaka. He fails, although he does come up with a rather neat disabling spell (he blocks all light entering the eyes of one of them, effectively blinding it). Then Roran is injured and Eragon must defend himself with his staff.
He quickly realizes that he made a mistake by not getting a new sword. Still, he manages to hold them off with his staff. Correct me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that fighting with a sword and fighting with a staff are profoundly different, and competence with one would not necessarily translate to proficiency with the other. Eragon has never trained with a staff, yet he is somehow fighting like an expert. Sigh.
Saphira kills one of the Lethrblaka. Boo-yah! The fight with the remaining one moves out of the cave, Saphira pursuing it as it tries to escape. Eragon knocks one of the Ra’zac down and the two creatures flee deeper into the caves. Eragon and Roran follow. Saphira returns triumphant from the battle with the second Lethrblaka.
More ominous, ominous, ominous caves. Also, very dark. Suddenly an arrow “augers” past Eragon’s face, scratching him.
To auger: to drill or bore using a rotating helical shaft. (Thanks, dictionary.com!) Shooting something or someone is NOT the same as boring into it with a drill.
Anyway, the Ra’zac are back. Eragon creates light which stuns them. Roran kills one of them; Eragon accidentally lets the other escape. Ah well. Let’s free Katrina! There are several cells; Roran starts battering down the door to Katrina’s cell while Eragon searches the other. That other human presence he sensed? It wasn’t Murtagh. It was the traitorous Sloan. DUN DUN DUN!
Chapter Four: Divergence
I think this chapter sets a new high in Eragon stupidity.
Eragon spends about two and a half pages dithering about what to do with Sloan. He’s in bad shape, malnourished and the Ra’zac have blinded him. Eragon knows that if he brings Sloan back to the villagers, he’ll be tried and killed. Frankly, he sort of deserves it, as he tried to get Roran killed, betrayed his village in a fashion that lead directly to his own daughter being kidnapped, and murdered a village guard to let the Ra’zac in. On the other hand, it won’t be good for Katrina to have her father publicly executed.
However, Eragon is reluctant to kill Sloan. One, he’s known Sloan all his life. Two, he’s never killed anyone outside of ‘the heat of battle’ before. I will grant you, one can make a moral distinction between killing someone who is actively trying to kill you and someone who is not. But I want to point out that Eragon spent a good part of the Battle of the Burning Plains killing mages, and then killing the soldiers that mage had protected. He was literally slaughtering whole swathes of Imperial forces at a time. So this sounds less like scruples to me, and more like squeamishness.
Eragon puts Sloan into a deep sleep and tells Roran and Katrina that Sloan is dead. He gets them onto Saphira, heals Saphira’s wounds (draining himself completely in the process), and then tell them he’s not going with them. His excuse is that he’ll look around, find out if there’s anything useful in terms of information or artifacts, and kill the other Ra’zac. Then he’ll run home.
I’m as fast as an elf now, you know.
Saphira is not happy. She actually tries to grab Eragon and drag him away by force. Then she tries guilt tripping him by making puppy dog eyes at him and mewling. Eragon stands firm, and she reluctantly leaves. She tells him she’ll come back for him in a week.
Obligatory end-of-chapter-angst!
Eragon stood there until [Saphira] dwindled from sight and he could no longer touch her mind. Then, his heart heavy as lead,he squared his shoulders and turned away from the sun and all things bright and living and once more descended into the tunnels of shadow.
Without any magical power currently left, no weapon besides a staff, and no backup. Spectacular decision, Eragon.
Chapter Five: Rider and Ra’zac
Eragon calls the Ra’zac to him to fight it out. The Ra’zac wants Eragon to promise that he’ll tell stories of the Ra’zac even after they’re dead, so that people remember how frightening they were. In return, he’ll tell Eragon something important: Galbatorix has almost found the true name. He can’t say more than that, just the true name, so Eragon refuses to promise anything.
They fight, Eragon wins in about 2.2 seconds. He grabs the still-sleeping Sloan and heads out. From the mouth of the cave, he sees people approaching, presumably minions of Galbatorix who saw Saphira’s ariel battle with the Lethrblaka. This would not be a huge problem except that the cave is quite far from the ground, the mountain face is mostly too steep to climb, and Eragon no longer has a dragon to fly him down. Whoops.
He ends up magically ‘floating’ the two of them down, draining himself dangerously in the process. By the time he’s on the ground, he is almost dying. However, his will to live is rekindled by a bumblebee. No, I’m serious.
From above and behind his had, there came a bumblebee as big as his thumb. [...] The bumblebee’s mane glowed in the morning light–each hair sharp and distinct to Eragon–and its blurred wing generated a gentle bombilation, like a tattoo played on a drum. Pollen powdered the bristles on its legs. The bumblebee was so vibrant, so alive, and so beautiful, its presence renewed Eragon’s will to survive. A world that contained a creature as amazing as that bumblebee was a world he wanted to live in.
I’ll ignore the dangling participle and simply note that Eragon has low standards for inspiration. Oh well, at least it wasn’t an ant.
Eragon sucks the life force out of several plants to save himself and belatedly realizes that maybe this whole plan wasn’t such a good idea. Still, he’s okay now, so he runs off rejoicing that the Ra’zac are finally dead. Our readers may forget, but Eragon swore back in the first book to avenge his uncle’s death by killing the Ra’zac. He makes a big deal about how he’s relieved yet strangely sad because this revenge had been such a big part of his life. Not only is this stereotypical, it’s extremely unconvincing. The Ra’zac come up exactly once in Eldest, when Oromis is talking about the history of different races in Alagaësia. Eragon hasn’t been thinking about the Ra’zac AT ALL.
If you’ll forgive the macrospeak – Characterization: Ur doing it wrong.
Chapter Six: To Walk the Land Alone
Night in the scrubby plains south of Helgrind. Eragon is uber-hungry, and there are few edible plants around. Will he give in and...eat meat? *Jeopardy music plays for half an hour* Yes, he will. It’s hard for him, but then when he finishes, he thinks, ‘maybe I’ll keep eating meat, just once in a while’.
(N.B. This boy who just spent half an hour agonizing over eating a lizard, earlier today summoned a sapient creature to him in order to kill it, and also refused that sapient creature’s last request. Just to put things in perspective.)
He wakes Sloan up and lets him know he’s free and Katrina is safe. It takes Sloan a while to figure out who Eragon is, and his tone of disbelief spurs Eragon to act even more arrogant and pompous than usual. If that is possible.
He replied in accordance, slowing his speech so each word struck like a hammer blow and carried all the weight of his dignity, station, and anger. “I am Eragon and far more. I am Argetlam and Shadeslayer and Firesword. My dragon is Saphira, she who is also known as Bjartskular and Flametongue. [...] We have fought the Urgals and a Shade [...] I have brought you here, Sloan Aldensson, to pass judgment upon you.
Sloan gets sulky and silent. Eragon considers what to do, and considers Sloan’s history and personality. He quickly puts together and comprehends Sloan’s soul, so to speak, to the point that he thinks of three words in the ancient tongue that describe Sloan, whispers them to himself, and Sloan responds. Oh yes, Eragon has discovered Sloan’s true name. A skill that only the most exceptional human Dragon Riders possess. *headdesk* Why am I even surprised?
Eragon comes up with a plan and scry-talks Queen Islanzadí to get her consent. He is able to scry her in a place he’s never seen before using a
She also calls Eragon out on his shit in a way that makes my heart sing. He is their one hope against Galbatorix and Murtagh, and he is risking himself on a side quest, and then risking himself to an even greater degree to save a murderer. Eragon feels that she’s treating him like a child. Which is appropriate, because he’s acting like one. Also, she compares him to Brom again. Hit us over the head with us a little more, why don’t you, CPao.
Now we get the grand reveal of Eragon’s plan. Sloan’s punishment is that he’ll never see or hear from Katrina again. He will walk north (remember, he’s blind) until he reaches Du Weldenvarden, where he will be given a home and food and so forth. Eragon will charm him so that he won’t be attacked and he’ll be able to find food during the journey, and will compel him using his true name to make oaths in the ancient language that he’ll never seek out Katrina again.
Sloan is not happy about this – and after being confronted with his true name, he’s pretty wretched and begging to be killed – but Eragon follows through with the plan and sends him off into the wilderness. Then he heads off towards Surda.
Chapter Seven: The Trial of the Long Knives
Perspective switch. Nasuada, you’re up!
Nasuada is having difficulties with a subordinate. Specifically, the leader of the tribe to which her father belonged. He is demanding that as ‘family’, members of the tribe be placed in high positions without earning them. (He’s also sort of a stereotype of of an African tribal leader, covered in gold jewelry and embroidered robes. Classy!)
Anyway, Nasuada refuses, although she tries to do it politely. He persists, insulting her. It becomes clear that he’s just trying to create an argument, so Nasuada becomes more firm. He challenges her to the Trial of the Long Knives; she accepts and calls in a bunch of witnesses.
Five of the fifteen pages of this chapter are devoted to this challenge. Brace yourselves; CPao has outdone himself on this one.
The two contestants go back and forth, cutting deep gashes into their own arms. The one who gives up first loses; the winner becomes leader of both tribes, or in this case both the tribe and the Varden.
Let me repeat that. They cut deep gashes – at one point Nasuada suspects she will faint of blood loss, and they have to avoid their wrists so as not to sever tendons – until one of them cannot bear to inflict more pain on oneself and yields. For FIVE PAGES.
I dare any non-slasher-flick-fan to read this chapter without gagging and getting nauseous. YOUNG ADULT, CPAO. YOU’RE SUPPOSEDLY WRITING A YA NOVEL HERE.
At the end of the chapter, Nasuada gets mildly scolded by Surda’s King Orrin. Drunk on pain-endorphins and fatigue, she answers impolitely and he storms off. You’d think that he’d be a little understanding since she has STREAMS OF BLOOD RUNNING DOWN HER ARMS FROM SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS, but apparently not. She resolves to hunt him down and apologize tomorrow.
Chapter Eight: Winged Tidings
Nasuada briefly blacks out from blood loss. Gee, what a surprise. She sends the others away and has a brief chat with Elva, the Creepy Unnaturally Wise Cursed Girl Clearly Modeled After Alia Atreides from Dune. Angela the witch comes in to tend to the wounds – naturally, the rules of the challenge ban the contestants from being healed by magic. As Angela is sewing the slashes (without anesthetic, geez) they hear it being shouted that Saphira is approaching and run out to meet her.
I want to note one thing. Even Nasuada, a presumably straight female, takes a moment to note just how HAWT Arya is. CPao, this raging-hormones thing has got to stop.
I haven’t cited any specific purple-prose passages for a couple of chapters (I think I’m going to start calling these CPao Specials). Let’s fix that:
Dusk spread its gold and purple wings over the Varden’s encampment, lending a sense of mystery to the rows of canvas tents that extended beyond the limits of Nasuada’s sight. Deepening shadows presaged the advent of night, and countless torches and watchfires already glowed pure and bright in the warm twilight. [...] Nasuada had eyes only for the north, and the glittering shape of Saphira descending thence. Light from the fading sun still illuminated her, cloaking her in a blue halo. She appeared like a cluster of stars falling from the heavens.
This is the second time in the book that Saphira has been described as glittering and reflecting many flashes of light. It is official: Saphira is a giant flying disco ball.
Elva, with her mysterious powers of Sensing Things, realizes that Eragon is not with Saphira; Nasuada sends almost everyone away. Saphira lands and Roran introduces Katrina. Saphira explains the ostensible reasons why Eragon stayed at the Helgrind; she leaves out Sloan. The group pauses for a moment to appreciate Eragon’s full stupidity. Arya decides she’s going to go after him and leaves. Apparently elves consider things like ‘provisions’ beneath them. Nasuada is freaking out, because – let’s say it again, folks – if Eragon dies, the Varden and rebel alliance are doomed.
Chapter Nine: Escape and Evasion
Nasuada is probably sleeping the sleep of the just and blood-loss-weakened by now, so let’s catch up with the idiot. Hi, Eragon!
Eragon is running, and enjoying his little mini-vacation of alone time. This is sort of nice until you remember that everyone else is panicking about whether or not he’s okay, etc. CPao also spends an entire paragraph describing the way it feels for Eragon to run, the way the little shocks of impact run up the legs and spine to your head, etc. CPao: all of your readers have run, at least once. Trust me on this.
There’s a brief scare where Eragon is almost seen by Imperial soldiers and hears some cryptic references to Murtagh, and that night he has a disturbing flashback-nightmare. Then he has a Random Encounter! with a semi-crazy old man. He helps the man weed his peas, and then has lunch with him (look, I don’t know). The man implies – this is my own theory, not something stated – that he is looking for the principle that will allow one to use the energy from light or heat for magical purposes (something Oromis said was currently impossible). Eragon, as is par for the course with him, totally misses the subtext and thinks the old guy is just crazy and talking in riddles. He sneaks away.
Eragon spends a night at an inn instead of camping out, where he quickly encounters Arya. After defusing a fight with a drunken farmer (pretty impressive for Eragon), Arya tells him that she has been looking for him and they need to go to her room to talk. I’m fairly certain that nothing will happen, but it still has those let’s take this back to my room, shall we? connotations.
They debate over whether or not Eragon should have killed Sloan. AGAIN. Sloan had better play a really major role in the story later on, is all I can say. Also, Arya found Eragon by following the signs in nature; apparently everything in the world is attuned to Dragon Riders and one can trace them that way.
Early next morning, they head out. Once they are safely away, Arya scries Nasuada and lets her know they’re safe. Eragon asks to speak to Saphira – they’re still too far away to speak mind-to-mind – which leads to a mildly amusing incident in which Saphira destroys all of Nasuada’s furniture as she squeezes into the tent. And then they’re off again.
BTW, Eragon is still obsessed with Arya. What a shock!
Chapter Ten: A Delicate Matter
Perspective shift. Wait, why Roran? We never really cared about him that much except inasmuch as he is a foil for (and more likeable than) Eragon. Explain yourself, CPao.
Roran is ‘training’ with some other Varden fighters. He’s working on his strength. Which involves lifting large boulders over his head. Ma-cho ma-cho man, I wanna be a macho....
Roran finishes training and takes a makeshift ‘shower’. Today is some kind of special day (he can’t actually be marrying Katrina today, can he? Wouldn’t he wait for Eragon, at least?) so he’s all pumped.
And then Birgit is there. With a dagger. ‘Remember when I told you I’d support you, but that you’d have to pay in the end for causing my husband to be killed and devoured? Don’t forget’. And she wanders off. Birgit is totally going to kill Katrina, isn’t she?
Katrina is pregnant. AWEsome.
Oh, okay. Roran was getting ‘dressed up’ because Nasuada has called him in for a meeting. She wants to use him as one of her generals, essentially, but she is not sure if she can completely trust him or his courage yet when NOT surrounded by people from his home village and obsessed with saving his love. Roran understand, but demurs when she asks him to leave on a test mission immediately. He wants to wait until Eragon is back and can perform his and Kristina’s wedding ceremony. And he wants to marry Katrina ASAP. Because she’s pregnant. Nasuada’s response is, “....FINE, so long as you follow my orders once you’re married.”
The rest of the chapter summaries are here:
Chapters 11-20
Chapters 21-30
Chapters 31-40
Chapters 41-50
Chapters 51-58
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Man, I'm glad I never read these books. That writing is pretty terrible. So everything in this world throbs, flares into existance, and/or glitters?
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Please do explain this one to me.
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Glaedr ends up giving Eragon and Saphira his heart of hearts, so we get to 'see' the process. Unfortunately for the drama of the idea, the actual 'expelling' resembles nothing more than a cat throwing up a hairball. (Or at least, that was my first appalled thought.)
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Most epic lulz be had.
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So wait a sec...
Does Sloan equal Gollum?
I mean, he's gone blind, spent a lot of time in a cave, is saved by Eragon's..."pity"...and he's sworn off Katrina, who may or may not equal The Precious.
I may be on crack. Then again, my crack may be better than the devoted reader's crack.
Well, don't mind me too much. Keep up the excellent work. You're saving me so much work in the process. Off to read the rest of the summary now!
Re: So wait a sec...
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My brain. It's breaking.
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Okay, I have tears streaming down my face. Can I please use this for an icon?
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