i hate my job, part 3
Apr. 10th, 2008 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amatyultareI'm so tired and grumpy *sigh* I feel like I shouldn't complain, because a lot of my friends are having REALLY bad weeks, and I'm not...I'm just annoyed.
Quickly, regarding the internet tech support aspect of my job...
Dear incredibly computer-illiterate customer,
You are connected to the internet. You clicked on 'My Computer' and then 'Dialup Network' and then on the dialup icon, and it told you that you were connected. You're done! You've got a connection and you're good to go! For the love of God, please stop asking me 'what do I do now?' If you don't know of anything to do on the internet, why did you even buy our service?
Also, no, I will not walk you through how to change the resolution of your desktop. That's not our job as your Internet Service Provider. In most cases I would anyway, because I'm nice like that. But the previous rep tried, and spent 25 MINUTES trying to explain it to you, and you just. didn't. get it. At this point, I'm not going to even bother trying.
And when I tell you for the fifth time that I'm not really familiar with your OS and am not sure how to change the screen resolution off the top of my head (it's true; it's been a LONG time since I used a computer with Windows '98) please do not get all huffy and ask me how I'd do it if I was on my 'fancy-pants' computer at home. Maybe it was little rude for me to respond by rattling off the steps I would take and end with a cheery 'but that won't work on your computer, because I own a Mac'...but frankly by that point, I just didn't care.
And now, a whole lot of rant-age about the customer-service part of my job (for a different company).
Dear co-workers: yes, I know a lot about this contract because I pick things up quickly. However, please do not ask me a question and then get all upset because 'the customer's not going to like that'. I know they won't like it. Our policies suck. You've worked on this contract for a year, you should know this by now. No, seriously, why are you complaining to me? You know exactly who makes the policies for this contract, and it's sure as heck not me. Stop whining and go back to your customer who's been on hold for 5 minutes. I have my own work to do.
Dear customers: We are a retailer. We do not make the items we sell. Why the heck are you coming to us to get products exchanged that you didn't even buy from us? That's like buying a TV at Wal-Mart, and then going to Target to return it when it breaks.
Dear specific, very bratty customer: I'm really sorry that we didn't cancel your order like you wanted to. Unfortunately you emailed us half an hour before the order shipped, and it can take up to 24 hours to review an email, depending on the volume; I didn't actually read your email until the next business day. The automatically generated 'thanks for contacting us, you'll get a response within 24-48 hours' really should have been a clue to call us for fastest service.
That being said, no, we are not going to refund your shipping charges. We credited you for the actual item without you even needing to return it, but our return policy says very clearly no credit for shipping charges. And really? We didn't do anything wrong. Emailing us 10 times (I wish I was joking; you should see all the notes on this guy's account), demanding to speak to a manager (again), sending us ever-more-hysterical threats in ALL CAPS about how you'll be suing us/exposing our 'scams' on your blog if we don't do what you want....none of this is going to change that answer. Please stop wasting your time and mine. My team leader and I have started comparing you to a toddler who threatens to hold his breath until he gets his way.
Dear company I work for (that I do customer service for, not Microdyne): I really hate you. I REALLY hate you. I got an email from a customer yesterday thanking me for my prompt response to his question and congratuating us for our great customer service and saying from now on, his company was only going to buy from us. And I seriously wanted to email him back and say, "DON'T BE FOOLED! TURN BACK NOW!" Your policies are terrible and customer-unfriendly, the information on your website is inaccurate and misleading, and your corporate communication is unhelpful to the point of being obstructive. It makes me unhappy to have to represent you.
Dear account manager who this company (again, not Microdyne) really should already have fired: for real, why haven't you been fired yet?
One, please actually read what people are writing before you respond. When a customer sends an email saying "I bought my model # X phone two months ago (blah blah blah) so I need a replacement battery door", please DO NOT forward the email to me with the notation 'Please contact the customer and find out what model of phone they have." When the customer emails us about an order FedEx lost, but the order was actually not placed with us, but with AT&T, please DO NOT forward the email to me and ask me to follow up with the customer so we can file a claim. IT'S AN AT&T ORDER. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. (Also, I answered that email FOUR DAYS AGO.)
Two, please spend your time doing things that might actually help customers. You seem to waste your days going into the customer emails that I already check and respond to separately, picking out the ones I can already answer, and forwarding me the information I already know (typical case: customer has a technical question, Lee forwards me the email, which I already have, with the comment 'Refer them to tech support'). And yet, we have submitted requests to you for assistance on matters we can't resolve on our own, on Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday (and again today) with...absolutely no response to ANY of them. We have customers waiting for us to contact them regarding the answers to those requests. Make yourself useful for once and ANSWER THEM.
Mmmmm...bedtime. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.
Quickly, regarding the internet tech support aspect of my job...
Dear incredibly computer-illiterate customer,
You are connected to the internet. You clicked on 'My Computer' and then 'Dialup Network' and then on the dialup icon, and it told you that you were connected. You're done! You've got a connection and you're good to go! For the love of God, please stop asking me 'what do I do now?' If you don't know of anything to do on the internet, why did you even buy our service?
Also, no, I will not walk you through how to change the resolution of your desktop. That's not our job as your Internet Service Provider. In most cases I would anyway, because I'm nice like that. But the previous rep tried, and spent 25 MINUTES trying to explain it to you, and you just. didn't. get it. At this point, I'm not going to even bother trying.
And when I tell you for the fifth time that I'm not really familiar with your OS and am not sure how to change the screen resolution off the top of my head (it's true; it's been a LONG time since I used a computer with Windows '98) please do not get all huffy and ask me how I'd do it if I was on my 'fancy-pants' computer at home. Maybe it was little rude for me to respond by rattling off the steps I would take and end with a cheery 'but that won't work on your computer, because I own a Mac'...but frankly by that point, I just didn't care.
And now, a whole lot of rant-age about the customer-service part of my job (for a different company).
Dear co-workers: yes, I know a lot about this contract because I pick things up quickly. However, please do not ask me a question and then get all upset because 'the customer's not going to like that'. I know they won't like it. Our policies suck. You've worked on this contract for a year, you should know this by now. No, seriously, why are you complaining to me? You know exactly who makes the policies for this contract, and it's sure as heck not me. Stop whining and go back to your customer who's been on hold for 5 minutes. I have my own work to do.
Dear customers: We are a retailer. We do not make the items we sell. Why the heck are you coming to us to get products exchanged that you didn't even buy from us? That's like buying a TV at Wal-Mart, and then going to Target to return it when it breaks.
Dear specific, very bratty customer: I'm really sorry that we didn't cancel your order like you wanted to. Unfortunately you emailed us half an hour before the order shipped, and it can take up to 24 hours to review an email, depending on the volume; I didn't actually read your email until the next business day. The automatically generated 'thanks for contacting us, you'll get a response within 24-48 hours' really should have been a clue to call us for fastest service.
That being said, no, we are not going to refund your shipping charges. We credited you for the actual item without you even needing to return it, but our return policy says very clearly no credit for shipping charges. And really? We didn't do anything wrong. Emailing us 10 times (I wish I was joking; you should see all the notes on this guy's account), demanding to speak to a manager (again), sending us ever-more-hysterical threats in ALL CAPS about how you'll be suing us/exposing our 'scams' on your blog if we don't do what you want....none of this is going to change that answer. Please stop wasting your time and mine. My team leader and I have started comparing you to a toddler who threatens to hold his breath until he gets his way.
Dear company I work for (that I do customer service for, not Microdyne): I really hate you. I REALLY hate you. I got an email from a customer yesterday thanking me for my prompt response to his question and congratuating us for our great customer service and saying from now on, his company was only going to buy from us. And I seriously wanted to email him back and say, "DON'T BE FOOLED! TURN BACK NOW!" Your policies are terrible and customer-unfriendly, the information on your website is inaccurate and misleading, and your corporate communication is unhelpful to the point of being obstructive. It makes me unhappy to have to represent you.
Dear account manager who this company (again, not Microdyne) really should already have fired: for real, why haven't you been fired yet?
One, please actually read what people are writing before you respond. When a customer sends an email saying "I bought my model # X phone two months ago (blah blah blah) so I need a replacement battery door", please DO NOT forward the email to me with the notation 'Please contact the customer and find out what model of phone they have." When the customer emails us about an order FedEx lost, but the order was actually not placed with us, but with AT&T, please DO NOT forward the email to me and ask me to follow up with the customer so we can file a claim. IT'S AN AT&T ORDER. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. (Also, I answered that email FOUR DAYS AGO.)
Two, please spend your time doing things that might actually help customers. You seem to waste your days going into the customer emails that I already check and respond to separately, picking out the ones I can already answer, and forwarding me the information I already know (typical case: customer has a technical question, Lee forwards me the email, which I already have, with the comment 'Refer them to tech support'). And yet, we have submitted requests to you for assistance on matters we can't resolve on our own, on Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday (and again today) with...absolutely no response to ANY of them. We have customers waiting for us to contact them regarding the answers to those requests. Make yourself useful for once and ANSWER THEM.
Mmmmm...bedtime. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.
