i could strangle you all--did i say that out loud?

[amatyultare]

So. Microdyne made me their July Employee of the Month. Heh. It's sort of a big deal (ish) as it's an all-company award. It was funny, all the managers came around to my station and gave me a little round of applause, and I got a plaque. I guess I should be flattered, but I couldn't help but think ".......well, this is awkward."

Also, my manager asked me today if I would be willing to 'stay' if they worked out a way for me to work from home. Which is pretty startling, since Microdyne doesn't really do that. I said no, but he told me to think about it. Somehow, I doubt my answer will change.

And, spurred my curiosity and some weird mental masochism, I went to two different libraries to try to find 'Twilight', but every volume was checked out.

So I bought a copy for myself. WHY?

I'm right around page 300, which leaves me 200 to go. It's alternately making me crack up and want to throw up. The chapter that really got me, though, was 'Confessions', the last chapter I've read so far.

First, let me share the first paragraph of this chapter (Background: Edward is the main male character and a vampire. In Stephanie Meyer's world, apparently vampires aren't hurt by the sun. They just sparkle in the sun. Like they're wearing glitter lotion. Yeah.)

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get use to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I giggled hysterically (starting around the word 'incandescent'), then found Mom and read the passage to her. Her comment was a dubious, "It almost sounds like soft-core porn." True, that.

Then I went back and counted the number of times in this chapter that Edward is described as stone-like/marble-like/statue or sculture-like. 13 times. In a 26 page chapter.

More disturbingly, this is where the Edward/Bella relationship really gets scary, because it's when he physically threatens her for the first time. No vague comments about how he's 'dangerous' or she 'shouldn't be around him'. He rips a branch off a tree, hurls it so hard at another tree that the trunk shatters, and then looks at her and tells her, "That could have been you." I don't buy the 'oh, he's trying to caution her.' It's a threat, and extremely disturbing.

Oh, but Bella is okay with it, because she's distracted just by being with him. Because he's hot (and marble-like). Right. Oh, and his breath smells delicious. (?!?)

Once I'm finished with this book, I'll have more to say about it. I can already feel the essays bubbling up.

Comments

[bonbon868.livejournal.com]

Umm...yeah. I fear for preteen girls everywhere who thinks Edward + Bella = tru wuv.

My favorite book in the series was book 2, because Edward is gone for 3/4 of the book and my fave character of the series, Jacob, gets the spotlight. Of course, he gets fucked because the EDWARD BELLA 4EVA cannot be denied. But I suggest you read book 2 and then stop. Book 3 really, really isn't worth it.

I have book 4 sitting on my shelf because Rachael was kind enough to send it all the way to Japan for me, so now I HAVE to read it, even if I'm really wary of it.

Btw, what's your new e-mail address? The only one I have for you is the Colgate one, and I'm trying to update my contacts.

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the appeal this book has to young girls is one of its most disturbing aspects, I think. I am torn between wanting to stop after Twilight and a fascination with how bad this series really gets by the end.

My email address is my full first name [dot] my last name [at] hotmail.com. If you are not sure of the spelling, let me know and I'll email you directly. But you can still reach me at my Colgate address for now.

[bonbon868.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I can't figure out how to spell your full first name. So I sent you an e-mail at your colgate account asking for your e-mail.

Also, I think the absolutely best part of the first book is when Bella's HEART LITERALLY STOPPED when Edward kissed her. And that's using literally correctly. What kind of sick romance causes a girl to die for a few seconds when a boy kisses her??????

[yubsie]

Twilight TERRIFIES me because all these young girls think this is ROMANTIC. Instead of, you know, ABUSIVE.

I'm only reading it because I have a pirated PDF. I only open it when there's someone online I can snark to. :p

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should actually go online occasionally...I certainly have plenty of snarky comments.

[yubsie]

Tessie and Sunny peer pressured me into reading it (Seriously, they actually said "Peer pressure! Peer pressure!" :p), so they get to listen to lots of "Did Bella seriously just... you're KIDDING. HOW IS THIS BOOK FOR REAL?" :p

[piano1815.livejournal.com]

i overheard two kids in Starbucks making fun of a vampire book where the author said INCANDESCENT CHEST!!!!!!!!!!!

small world

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

And a really popular (bizarrely so, really) book series.

[lacontessa11.livejournal.com]

So you understand where I'm coming from with my opinion of the Twilight saga? It only gets worse, so you may not want to spend the money on the others and wait for them from the library instead. Twilight is the only one I paid for--the others I borrowed from friends. They're worth reading if you're curious what happens, but BE WARNED that Edward/Bella only get more and more painful, and Meyer doesn't seem to notice. Wait, it's perfectly normal and healthy and a sign of TRUE LOVE to feel inferior around your boyfriend? Hmmm, must have missed that one.

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

I was surprised at myself that I spent money on the first one, but I am impatient.

I keep debating which character I dislike more, Edward or Bella....it varies depending on the scene. But them as a couple is absolutely nauseating.

[arinoch.livejournal.com]

Ha. I should so introduce you to sheyrena. She tore that book *apart*.

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

Oh, please do. One can never have too many friendships based on shared snarkiness. ^_^

[virgoslaw.livejournal.com]

Well at least the myth that vampires suffer from halitosis is now dispelled. *Clearly* the masses need soft-core 'pire porn for proper education.

I bet Edward pops Tic-Tacs.

[amatyultare.livejournal.com]

Clearly, the world can never have too much soft-core vampire porn. I mean, really.

The funny this is that Bella absolutely hates the scent of blood; it makes her nauseous and dizzy. So you'd think that a vampire's breath would be especially terrible for her. But no, apparently amazing-smelling breath is part of a vampire's 'hunting weapons'.