Questionable Media Month Part 12
Dec. 30th, 2018 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amatyultareChapter 12 - Bit Part Hell
I will laugh so hard if Sadie gets cast as Rosalie, y’all have no idea.
“I hated auditions because I wasn’t in charge.” Why, you don’t say! Also apparently thirty-plus people are auditioning. Where were all of these people during the club meetings? I’m so confused. “Personally I thought the time I invested in the script…should have earned me extra points on my audition scorecard.” Except that being able to cut down a movie script is not the same thing as being able to act, sing, and dance?
I find it funny that this school doesn’t have the money for a drama club, but has money for both a music teacher (Mr. Lord) and a separate band director. My school was twice the size of Sadie’s and we had one music teacher who taught music theory, band, jazz band, and chorus and handled musical theater. Also, Mr. Lord has recruited a choreographer. Sure.
Anyway, Sadie sings Gotta Go My Own Way from HSM2 because why not. She reads a short dialogue from her script, and has a dance audition. Then, it’s time to wait anxiously for the results. Mr. Ellison praises her audition, but she’s deeply anxious to learn the final casting decisions on Monday.
Incidentally, she spends the whole weekend fretting about how she NEEDS to be Bella because Bella and Edward are so intensely the focus of the show, and Bella will definitely have at least one solo, and “I needed a solo at this stage in my Crudup acting career.” I am running out of ways to humorously say it: high school DOES NOT matter that much. Getting or not getting the star role in your junior year musical, especially when it’s a crappy Twilight/Glee/pop song mashup at a school of 250 students, is really just not going to make a big difference in your theatrical success in the real world.
Finally, Monday! Lucey is Bella. Nigel is Edward. Can I get a ‘ well, duh’ from the audience? Sadly, Sadie is not Rosalie (she could have pulled off hilarious bitchface! Sigh), she’s Alice.
Sadie is disappointed, as is pretty much every girl who isn’t Bella. Also, she’s grossed out that she’s going to have to pretend to be romantic with Ben, the nerdy kid who’s been cast as Jasper. Wouldn’t it have been even more awkward to be Bella, forced to be all romantic with Nigel? Count your blessing, Sadie.
And we get the first (and second, and third) of what will no doubt be many winking “sucking” references. Because vampires suck blood! Oh dear Lord, this is going to be the rollercoaster all over again.
During the first read-through, the cast finally realizes there’s no Jacob (not, note, when they looked at the cast announcement and didn’t see anyone given the role of Jacob). Jacob is an incredibly minor character in the first book, but everyone freaks out anyway. They also freak out about every single change from the movie and/or book. Although to be fair, this is a realistic depiction of Twihards.
As she heads home, Sadie progresses from heady self-congratulation over writing a real script (or making minor changes to a movie script, but whatevs) to “deep in despair” over the whole not-being-Bella thing.
Hey, did you notice that Sadie Perkins sounds a lot like Sadie Hawkins? Maybe we should spend a page or two elucidating Sadie’s feelings on that. (Her feelings are negative. Please try to hide your surprise.) She googles famous Sadies, and there aren’t many, woe.
“I sketched out a theatre marquee with the words ‘Starring Sadie Perkins as Bella Swan’ in bold block letters. But obviously I wasn’t destined to be Bella…I was just me…A sixteen-year-old girl with a debilitating theatre obsession and yet another bit part.”
And this is the moment where I said “Oh, for fuck’s sake, shut up,” at my Kindle for the first time.
I will laugh so hard if Sadie gets cast as Rosalie, y’all have no idea.
“I hated auditions because I wasn’t in charge.” Why, you don’t say! Also apparently thirty-plus people are auditioning. Where were all of these people during the club meetings? I’m so confused. “Personally I thought the time I invested in the script…should have earned me extra points on my audition scorecard.” Except that being able to cut down a movie script is not the same thing as being able to act, sing, and dance?
I find it funny that this school doesn’t have the money for a drama club, but has money for both a music teacher (Mr. Lord) and a separate band director. My school was twice the size of Sadie’s and we had one music teacher who taught music theory, band, jazz band, and chorus and handled musical theater. Also, Mr. Lord has recruited a choreographer. Sure.
Anyway, Sadie sings Gotta Go My Own Way from HSM2 because why not. She reads a short dialogue from her script, and has a dance audition. Then, it’s time to wait anxiously for the results. Mr. Ellison praises her audition, but she’s deeply anxious to learn the final casting decisions on Monday.
Incidentally, she spends the whole weekend fretting about how she NEEDS to be Bella because Bella and Edward are so intensely the focus of the show, and Bella will definitely have at least one solo, and “I needed a solo at this stage in my Crudup acting career.” I am running out of ways to humorously say it: high school DOES NOT matter that much. Getting or not getting the star role in your junior year musical, especially when it’s a crappy Twilight/Glee/pop song mashup at a school of 250 students, is really just not going to make a big difference in your theatrical success in the real world.
Finally, Monday! Lucey is Bella. Nigel is Edward. Can I get a ‘ well, duh’ from the audience? Sadly, Sadie is not Rosalie (she could have pulled off hilarious bitchface! Sigh), she’s Alice.
Sadie is disappointed, as is pretty much every girl who isn’t Bella. Also, she’s grossed out that she’s going to have to pretend to be romantic with Ben, the nerdy kid who’s been cast as Jasper. Wouldn’t it have been even more awkward to be Bella, forced to be all romantic with Nigel? Count your blessing, Sadie.
And we get the first (and second, and third) of what will no doubt be many winking “sucking” references. Because vampires suck blood! Oh dear Lord, this is going to be the rollercoaster all over again.
During the first read-through, the cast finally realizes there’s no Jacob (not, note, when they looked at the cast announcement and didn’t see anyone given the role of Jacob). Jacob is an incredibly minor character in the first book, but everyone freaks out anyway. They also freak out about every single change from the movie and/or book. Although to be fair, this is a realistic depiction of Twihards.
As she heads home, Sadie progresses from heady self-congratulation over writing a real script (or making minor changes to a movie script, but whatevs) to “deep in despair” over the whole not-being-Bella thing.
Hey, did you notice that Sadie Perkins sounds a lot like Sadie Hawkins? Maybe we should spend a page or two elucidating Sadie’s feelings on that. (Her feelings are negative. Please try to hide your surprise.) She googles famous Sadies, and there aren’t many, woe.
“I sketched out a theatre marquee with the words ‘Starring Sadie Perkins as Bella Swan’ in bold block letters. But obviously I wasn’t destined to be Bella…I was just me…A sixteen-year-old girl with a debilitating theatre obsession and yet another bit part.”
And this is the moment where I said “Oh, for fuck’s sake, shut up,” at my Kindle for the first time.
